Cancer - Part 3 (Telling our Daughters)

Very quickly, we were surrounded by questions, phone calls, well-wishes, offers of help and people. Cards began pouring in, as well as gifts, flowers, and food. It was all so overwhelming, albeit appreciated, because we were in shock and disbelief. We still didn’t believe what was happening. Therefore, these acts of kindness were difficult to accept, especially for Mike. There was also a great sense of humility required to receive these gifts. But I thought of how we would also like to help someone in need, and turning them away would take away from their generous hearts. I admit there were times during that first week where we ignored the phone and retreated into ourselves. There were moments when I wanted to just grab my daughters and hold them, in an effort to be comforted. They were confused about all that was happening. And Mike and I were confused. It’s so difficult to explain a parent’s illness to your child when you yourself don’t even understand it all.

We were as honest as we could be with the girls. I found this really neat Charlie Brown book at the public library that dealt with a student that got leukemia. It was a great way to introduce cancer to Alicia. The story discussed a girl with flowing blond hair who was suddenly missing from school one day. Charlie Brown and a friend found out that she was sick, and went to visit her in the hospital. The book explained what cancer is in child-friendly terms. It discussed good cells and bad cells and chemotherapy and losing your hair. The end of the book painted a real picture of hope. After missing months of school for treatment, the little blond haired girl returned, sporting a pink baseball cap. She was teased about being bald but continued to be courageous. When school began in fall, the children were happy to see her back, still wearing her pink baseball cap. Outside at recess, they discovered something incredible. As she was swinging, the breeze suddenly grabbed the cap, and everyone noticed her long blond hair blowing behind her! They knew then that their classmate and friend was back and all would be well. The first time I read this to Alicia, I bawled. I didn’t know what the future held for us, but I knew that there was hope. And there was an end to this story.